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CHAPTER 5: SOCIAL LINKS TO PERSONALITY

WHY WAS I DIVORCED?

This is one of the most important, yet unanswerable, maturational questions for adults who aggressively oppose being divorced. Spouses who oppose divorce with needless chaos usually will never be able to understand why their marriage died. Manufacturing opposition in response to being divorced allows adults to avoid objectively coming to terms with why they need relationships and how their personality contributed to the death of their marriage.

For these adults, ignorance is truly blissful. Objectively understanding why one was divorced involves adults having the domestic courage to tolerate the psychological discomforts of maturational self awareness and how their personality affects others. The immediate gratification associated with acting out and character assassination is much easier than dealing with the maturational demands of divorce.

Maturation in adulthood implies that spouses surrender from harming and confusing their family members. It forces adults to understand how their personality affects others. This is rare in adulthood. Just as addicts cannot tolerate withdrawal, some adults cannot tolerate the psycho-physiological discomforts associated with the maturational demands of divorce. After years of marriage, some spouses overestimate or distort what they have learned about life and relationships.

Many learn nothing and they may spend the rest of their lives never understanding why they were divorced or why their engagements were called off. Never understanding why one was divorced may illustrate the premise that unconscious dynamics help adults avoid the discomforts of accurate self examination.

After elections, you may find highly educated politicians who have no idea why they lost their elections or why they were divorced from their positions of power. You may notice their attempts to disguise their residual anger when they assassinate the character of individuals in office.

The same problems with accountability and self awareness can be found among adults who never acknowledge the limits of their parenting. The same psychology is found among siblings and in-laws who fail to understand how their personalities have promoted familial division.

A parallel psychology is found among politicians and journalists who desperately collude in their efforts to win an election or promote a particular social agenda. The less an adult understands why they are being divorced, the more desperate they may be in terms of changing established principles of honor.

Desperation is a misunderstood psycho-physiological state where you find adults struggling with the limitations of their humanity or a potentially dangerous divorce. Desperate tyrants enjoy their elite supremacy which helps them avoid the maturational tasks associated with accepting their limits of humanity.

Desperation can lead to either adaptive or maladaptive behavior depending upon one’s core personality. Maladaptive desperation can be disguised as needed legislation or hyperbolic family values. The Fairness Doctrine has been proposed by several Democrats and is intended to level the playing field in talk radio.

FASCIST REASONING & CONTROL

Instead of passing more restrictive legislation that limits competitive evolution, liberal or moderate radio programs should examine why they have failed. You find a similar dynamic in disordered relationships when one adult tries to over control or restrict their partner while the marriage continues to decline. Oppressing intellectual diversity, in declining relationships or media outlets, has elements of Fascist reasoning.

In terms of domestic or political competition, one should always remember the stable dynamic of maladaptive control vs. liberty. Most individuals underestimate the breadth of maladaptive desperation involving control. Consider the maladaptive desperation associated with controlling the following:

• Reality
• Power
• Finances
• Information
• Anxiety
• Anger
• Depression
• Adaptive potential of family members
• An artificial sense of individual adult competency
• The stability of tort and prosecutorial abuse
• The ability to avoid the discomforts of maturing in adulthood
• How marital or relational health should be defined
• The preoccupation with questionable parental or political legacies

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