CHAPTER 5: SOCIAL LINKS TO PERSONALITY
WHY WAS I DIVORCED?
This is one of the most important, yet unanswerable, maturational
questions for adults who aggressively oppose being divorced. Spouses
who oppose divorce with needless chaos usually will never be able
to understand why their marriage died. Manufacturing opposition
in response to being divorced allows adults to avoid objectively
coming to terms with why they need relationships and how their personality
contributed to the death of their marriage.
For these adults, ignorance is truly blissful. Objectively understanding
why one was divorced involves adults having the domestic courage
to tolerate the psychological discomforts of maturational self awareness
and how their personality affects others. The immediate gratification
associated with acting out and character assassination is much easier
than dealing with the maturational demands of divorce.
Maturation in adulthood implies that spouses surrender from harming
and confusing their family members. It forces adults to understand
how their personality affects others. This is rare in adulthood.
Just as addicts cannot tolerate withdrawal, some adults cannot tolerate
the psycho-physiological discomforts associated with the maturational
demands of divorce. After years of marriage, some spouses overestimate
or distort what they have learned about life and relationships.
Many learn nothing and they may spend the rest of their lives never
understanding why they were divorced or why their engagements were
called off. Never understanding why one was divorced may illustrate
the premise that unconscious dynamics help adults avoid the discomforts
of accurate self examination.
After elections, you may find highly educated politicians who have
no idea why they lost their elections or why they were divorced
from their positions of power. You may notice their attempts to
disguise their residual anger when they assassinate the character
of individuals in office.
The same problems with accountability and self awareness can be
found among adults who never acknowledge the limits of their parenting.
The same psychology is found among siblings and in-laws who fail
to understand how their personalities have promoted familial division.
A parallel psychology is found among politicians and journalists
who desperately collude in their efforts to win an election or promote
a particular social agenda. The less an adult understands why they
are being divorced, the more desperate they may be in terms of changing
established principles of honor.
Desperation is a misunderstood psycho-physiological state where
you find adults struggling with the limitations of their humanity
or a potentially dangerous divorce. Desperate tyrants enjoy their
elite supremacy which helps them avoid the maturational tasks associated
with accepting their limits of humanity.
Desperation can lead to either adaptive or maladaptive behavior
depending upon one’s core personality. Maladaptive desperation
can be disguised as needed legislation or hyperbolic family values.
The Fairness Doctrine has been proposed by several Democrats and
is intended to level the playing field in talk radio.
FASCIST REASONING & CONTROL
Instead of passing more restrictive legislation that limits competitive
evolution, liberal or moderate radio programs should examine why
they have failed. You find a similar dynamic in disordered relationships
when one adult tries to over control or restrict their partner while
the marriage continues to decline. Oppressing intellectual diversity,
in declining relationships or media outlets, has elements of Fascist
In terms of domestic or political competition, one should always
remember the stable dynamic of maladaptive control vs. liberty.
Most individuals underestimate the breadth of maladaptive desperation
involving control. Consider the maladaptive desperation associated
with controlling the following:
- Adaptive potential of family members
- An artificial sense of individual adult competency
- The stability of tort and prosecutorial abuse
- The ability to avoid the discomforts of maturing in adulthood
- How marital or relational health should be defined
- The preoccupation with questionable parental or political legacies